Cowboy Luke Tests System at BWI
DATELINE: BWI Airport, Wednesday, June 17th
The Super Shuttle has just dropped me at the BWI Airport and I am ready to fly to Orlando after attending a Department of Homeland Security public safety communications meeting, called SAFECOM.
Since the federal government pays for the travel they require that you use their travel agency, which is likely the result of a long and protracted process which is obligated to select the “lowest responsive bidder”. The travel service handled my arrangements via email from India - which must fly in the face of President Obama’s “Buy American” policy.
In any event, in a continuing effort to save money, the travel agency will always book you on the most economical flight possible. And so begins the story of Air Tran.
I walk up to the AirTran ticket counter and there are three lines. Line #1 is reserved exclusively for passengers flying to Cancun. I pause at this line, but realize I do not have my passport with me, or more importantly a ticket to Cancun, although the latter could be resolved easily. Line #2 is for the Premier Business Class passengers and is empty, (a situation I would understand much more clearly in the next minutes). Line #3 as for everyone else - which included passengers who needed to buy tickets, passengers who needed to check in and check luggage and passengers who needed to check in with no luggage. Line #2 was very long and snaked out past the velvet ropes and into the concourse walkway. The line was moving ever so slowly. I can see growing agitation around me as other passengers -especially those with no luggage - are looking for some other way to check in, clearly believing that they do not belong in this line. To make the situation even more funny, or tragic depending on your view, there is a large blinking bannner above the counter that says “QUICK KIOSK CHECK IN, NO LUGGAGE, NO WAIT”. I am guessing that the kiosks have yet to be installed, because - despite the sign, they are no where to be found. They do serve as a constant blinking reminder to those in line that Air Tran has some efficency issues to work through.
Twenty minutes has elapsed and there are only about four customers ahead of me in line. I can see that the counter agents seem resigned to the fact that there is a constant torrent of customers and that everyone who approaches their counter will have some type of comment,complaint, or issue to be resolved. It is also clear that almost no one behind the counter has taken any type of Customer Service class in their recent memory.
A couple in line behind me are on the brink of a total melt down. She is telling him that this is totally unacceptable and that he needs to do something. He is telling her that the blinking sign is an insult and someone is going to get a phone call. The back and forth bantering continues as we all turn our attention to the customers who are at the kiosk and are the only thing standing in the way between us and a check in.
A mother and daughter are infront of me at the check in counter. Together they have three very large suitcases. There is a slight language barrier that is slowing down the check in. The two women are unfamiliar with how to use the kiosk and are just standing there, not tapping the screen or trying to look up their reservation. The counter agent finally starts to help them. She then needs to collect $55 in luggage fees for the four bags. The two women do not understand what that is all about, and keep saying that they have a ticket for the flight. Finally, a wad of cash comes out and the $55 is paid, and I am sure they are wrapping up and I will be next in line. But no, Tragica has plans (Tragica is the Greek Godess of Tragedy who specializes in travel related problems). The counter agent places the first suitcase on the scale and it comes in at 72 pounds! I tell myself that this is where the husband is stored, probably in Saran Wrap. The agent, in an attempt to be helpful, tells the ladies if they will open and rearrange the contents of their suit case, they can probably balance out the load and end up with 50 pounds in each.
Another traveler has cleared the front counter kiosk and I am called forward. I am stepping over and around the open suitcase game that has unfolded (literally) on the floor. I swipe my credit card to bring up my Air Tran reservation and the computer says “THERE IS AN ERROR, PLEASE SEE AN AIR TRAN REPRESENTATIVE”. I sigh and wait for the counter agent to realize that I am there. She is still busy trying to print out tickets for the two women who are swapping shoes and small plastic bags between their suitcases, zipping them up and then hauling them onto the scale. This time, the 72 pound bag comes in at 60 and the second bag comes in at 41. By my calculations, it will take them another seventeen attempts before they solve this math problem, what equals 50+50+50.
The agitated couple in line have decided that they must act and I am the object of their attention. Since I am standing at the counter and not typing into the kiosk, they have incorrectly assumed that I am one of those first time travelers who does not know how to operate the device. The man steps over and around the still opened luggage to reach me and says,”let me show you how the kiosk works…”. I smile and said that I had already swiped my card and it told me I had to see the agent, that there was a problem. He sheepishly said “oh” and walked back through the pile of clothing and shoes and bags to take his place in line.
The counter agent asks me if something is wrong, and I explain the error message. I tell her I am trying to fly to Orlando on the 10:30 flight and hand her my Drivers License. She starts tapping on her keyboard and a strange look comes on her face. I said, “oh no,I’ve seen that look before and nothing good ever comes from that look..”. She smiled and kept typing. Smiling is the single best indicator you can receive from anyone in the airline industry, and if you are able to make them smile, you will probably receive excellent service from them. She then said, “oh no…please dont’ go down on me now.” and kept hitting some function key over and over. I am thinking that while maybe she wants to help me, that the technology is going to thrwart her attempts. A few button presses later, she says, “Mr. Luke, I am so sorry…………I had to move you into the Emergency Exit Row…….. I hope that’s OK”. I smiled and said I would just have to make do and thanked her for her help. She swiped my credit card for the $15 baggage fee and I was cleared to go to security. As I walked away from the counter, I thanked her again and told her to “..be careful in the zoo today.” She laughed and I watched the agitated couple rush her station to be waited on. “You know, this sign is very misleading….” the woman said as she started a long diatribe on her thoughts of Air Tran.
It is now time for me to move on to the TSA Security Check Point……